My Last Impulse Buy of 2009

I saw these online and kind of had to have them. They'll go nicely with the matryoshka plates my friend J9 gave to our family for Christmas.

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=873473&navAction=jump&search=true&parentid=SEARCH_RESULTS

What do you think? Cute, huh?

Actually, I don't think this will be my last impulse buy of 2009. I just read that Season 1 of "Glee" was released today. Heading off to Target now....

The Mystery of the Secret Santa

For the past two years, packages for the kids have been left on our doorstep on Christmas Day from the "Secret Santa." This Secret Santa gets them small gifts, but they are things that the kids love. Junie B. Jones books, journals, writing notepads and pens (my kids LOVE note pads - they are either writing stories or taking our orders for dinner like little waiters). It's a thoughtful gesture that brings some unexpexcted joy on Christmas Day.

The thing is, neither Jeff nor I have any idea who the Secret Santa is. We had some ideas last year, but both those people delivered gifts for the kids in person before Christmas. It's hard to imagine that they would come back on Christmas Day with a second set of gifts for which they took no credit. Also, the Secret Santa spells Eamon's name right, so it probably isn't one of the neighbors. Most people spell Eamon's name "Amen" or "Amon" unless they have had the occasion to see it in writing (which our neighbors haven't, really). And since the Secret Santa gives gifts to "Victoria" instead of "Vika," I think he/she is probably not someone I work with or whose kids play with ours.

It's a mystery. I would love to be able to thank the Secret Santa for his/her thoughtfulness, but since I have no idea who it is, I can't! However, I don't think our appreciation is what they're after. It seems for someone out there, just knowing that they gave a little surprise to a couple of kids on Christmas Day is enough.

Merry Christmas Secret Santa. I hope your holiday brought some unexpected surprises as well.

Merry Christmas!

Finally, the Christmas shopping is done, the pizzelles are baked (waffled?) and the presents are wrapped. Our disastrous cranberry cordials (which tasted like cough syrup) have been rescued, thanks to an extra infusion of vodka and sugar. It's been a busy holiday pre-season, and frankly, I'm ready to get down to the actual holiday.

Tonight we'll do our annual family dinner and celebration of the day we brought Vika and Eamon home. On the menu, roasted capon (I'm feeling very Victorian with that one), mashed sweet potatoes, some vegetable (not sure what - Jeff's cooking) and cranberry sauce. We'll also spend some time today at mom's, visiting with my step-family.

The kids will get to open two gifts today. One from us (always a pair of PJs), and one from Merripen (since he is leaving tonight with Santa). Vika is in that total girl mode where she wants us to dress alike. Often she'll come into the bathroom, make a note of what I'm wearing, and then rush into her bedroom to put on something similar. So, to accommodate this peculiarity of hers, I bought us matching PJs. We may look completely dorky in our lavender Nick & Nora owl jams, but Vika will LOVE it.

Tomorrow will begin with a breakfast of gingerbread waffles with cranberry compote and lots of present opening. Of course, that's after Jeff has gone downstairs and checked to make sure Santa came (the kids are a bit worried he may skip our house this year - with good reason).

But, before all that, we'll hold our annual viewing of the video below and spend some time remembering that hectic Christmas Eve 4 years ago. The Christmas Eve that delivered us all home, safe and sound, a family at last!



Have a happy holiday everyone! I wish you good health and much joy in 2010!

Can you guess what he wants for Christmas?

Actually, it's his 3 front teeth. They've been gone for ages, and we'd ll really like them to start coming in now. So Santa, if you've got any pull with the Tooth Fairy, could you put in a good word for Eamon, please?

Sibling Rivalry Update

Thanks for all the suggestions for dealing with the problem in my last post. We've actually used a few of them, and I think Vika is starting to get it. Maggie - we did the activity with the paper person, writing on the body all the things that make family great, and then tearing it apart with actions that hurt a family. Afterward we discussed what actions would put the family back together and taped the paper person back up. Then I hung him on the fridge as a reminder.

The next day, Vika and I were having a discussion about how she was talking to Eamon (she does love to boss him around). She began yelling and whining, so I said, "I don't think we're communicating very well right now. Lets talk about this later when we're both more calm." Vika stormed off to the refrigerator, took down the paper person and tore off the leg that says "communication." Then she placed it on my laptop. I fought back a smile because I know she was making a valid point, and I didn't think she'd appreciate the humor in the situation. But we later talked about it and she found her actions amusing too. I still have the paper "communication" leg sitting by my laptop, and it makes me smile every time I look at it. Perhaps it's time to reattach the leg to our little "Family Man" though.

Vika is also working on a well-thought-out letter of apology, which Eamon requested of her. Eamon told Vika he wanted the letter to say more than just "I'm sorry." He wanted her to show that she really meant it. Sounds like the kid has some tough standards. I hope he doesn't make Vika do too many revisions!

I really liked Kate's suggestion of a shared family "secret" that Vika was excluded from. It was just tricky thinking of how to do this in a way that didn't seem vindictive or mean. Luckily, Eamon is not the type to hold grudges or intentionally hurt someone's feelings, so when we told him our plan, I knew he would see it through in a kind way. We have planned a fun family evening watching "Polar Express," drinking hot chocolate (which we usually do during the "Hot Chocolate" scene in the movie - we're nerds), and making cinnamon S'mores. Eamon, Jeff and I have talked about the "fun plans" in passing, but not enough to lord it over Vika. We've just kind of mentioned it here and there, and Eamon's given me smiling thumb's up signals across the table. Vika has asked, "What is the surprise?! Is it a surprise for me?!" I said that no, it wasn't a surprise for her, but it was a family activity that we wanted to do, just the four of us. We are nervous about telling her because she might mention it to someone else, who would feel bad that they are not included. Frankly, it's driving Vika nuts! "Why can't you just tell me?!" she exclaimed in frustration yesterday afternoon. "I think you know the answer to that, Vika" I responded calmly. She got very quiet at that point and was really thinking about it. Hopefully she thought about what it means to share trust in a family and how it is better to be inside the "circle of trust" rather than outside of it. We'll put her out of her misery today though. A rainy Sunday sounds like the perfect day to watch "Polar Express," drink hot cocoa and eat S'mores!

One other family building activity Jeff and I are doing is kind of a "forced cooperation" program. Vika constantly needs to be in charge of Eamon, so we're making them work together on family chores, like folding laundry or cleaning the kitchen, and fun things like Holiday projects. We've instructed Eamon to say, "Nice try Vika" when she starts bossing him around and to remind her that they are working as a team. Our hope is that this will empower Eamon to react to Vika's bossiness with words instead of anger, and also reinforce that neither child in the house is in charge of the other. We'll see how that goes.

Thank you again for all the great ideas. I was too upset to really come up with anything constructive last weekend. Fortunately, since Vika let the secret slip on a Friday, the kids at school had all weekend to forget about it, and Eamon has not been teased since. That was my biggest concern, and luckily, it seems to no longer be an issue.

Parenting Advice Needed

I need advice regarding a problem which I was made aware of this afternoon. Vika exposed a secret about Eamon, something he is ashamed of and which we have said would stay just within the family, to her classmates at school in an effort to embarrass and bully him. Sadly it worked, and now kids at school are making fun of Eamon as well. I'm so upset with her, and extremely sad that Eamon now has to endure teasing about something which he really cannot help.

I've told Vika how people need to feel safe in a family and how she has made Eamon feel unsafe by telling his secret to kids at school. I've also told her that words can never be taken back and how disappointed I am with her for lashing out at her brother in that way. But it seems there needs to be some bigger consequence for this so that it will never occur again.

How would you deal with a situation like this? Anything you can think of that would have a lasting impact? And for the more bloodthirsty of you out there, beating her with a stick is not an option.

Meet Merripen

He's our new house elf. Only he doesn't cook or clean for us as the house elves from Harry Potter do. He's more of a scout, watching the kids and reporting both their good deeds and bad back to Santa.

On Thanksgiving, my step-father, Ed, presented an "Elf on the Shelf" to all 4 of the "big kids" (my brother, step-sister, step-brother and I) to share with our families. It was a bit emotional as he talked of this tradition he wanted us to start with our kids and keep going to remember him and mom after they're gone. A bit maudlin really, but the gesture was appreciated, nonetheless. The elf came with a storybook, which the kids and I read last night, and at the end were instructions to choose a name for the elf.

The kids’ first choice was "Willy," after the elf in "Fred Claus." Personally, I hate that name, so I told the kids that "Willy" was another name for a boy's private parts, and suitably horrified, they dropped the name from contention. (I know, I'm a terrible parent). Then, on the way home from Mom and Ed's, Eamon said, "How about we name the elf Jon Stewart?"

I think my heart grew a little bigger for the boy at that point. ;)

Finally, after some more discussion, I suggested "Merripen." Jeff and Vika both liked the name right away, but Eamon was still pushing for Jon Stewart. However, when I explained that Merripen sounds a bit like "Merry Christmas" and reminded me of the hobbit Merry from "The Lord of the Rings," Eamon decided he liked it too, and thus, our elf was named.

Here's how the elf works. He arrives around Thanksgiving and observes your kids until Christmas Eve. Each night, he flies back to Santa in the North Pole and gives his report. The next day, the elf is sitting in a different spot than he was before, showing that he did indeed move during the night.

The kids already love this idea. This morning, Eamon rushed down to find where Merripen was sitting today. He and Vika are in a bit of a competition to see who can find him first each morning. Vika, ever the clever girl, is writing letters to Santa and hiding them around the house. She whispers to Merripen where they are hidden so that if he is truly magical, he can take them back to the North Pole each night. If he's not magical, she thinks that she'll catch Jeff and I in some elaborate holiday conspiracy, thus proving her suspicions that Santa doesn't really exist. Hopefully we'll manage to stay one step ahead of her (and since Eamon can't keep a secret, we can probably get him to rat out her hiding places).

And so, a new holiday tradition for our family is born. Hopefully it is one we will carry on, long after our children abandon their status as "believers."